🌿 Busting the Myths Around ADHD, Autism and Neurodivergence

Discover the truth about ADHD, autism, and neurodivergence. Learn why these are often missed or misdiagnosed, how they present differently across genders, and how trauma-informed, neurodiversity-affirming therapy can help.

🧠 Understanding Neurodivergence

There’s a growing conversation around neurodiversity, yet so many myths and misunderstandings still surround it. Too often, ADHD and autism are seen through outdated stereotypes - the hyperactive little boy who can’t sit still, or the socially awkward maths genius.

In truth, neurodivergence describes a wide range of brain differences - unique ways of thinking, feeling, and processing the world. These differences are not flaws or disorders to be “fixed,” but natural variations in human neurobiology.

As a trauma-informed therapist, I see every day how powerful it can be when someone finally realises they’re not broken, just wired differently. For many people, that realisation doesn’t come until adulthood, after years of masking, burnout, or being misdiagnosed with anxiety or depression.

This article unpacks what neurodivergence really means, why ADHD and autism often go unrecognised, how it can be misunderstood as mental health issues, and what support can genuinely help.

🌈 What Does Neurodivergent Mean?

The term neurodivergent refers to people whose brains function differently from what society considers “typical.” This includes ADHD, autism, dyslexia, dyspraxia, Tourette’s, and other neurological differences.

Rather than viewing these as “disorders,” the neurodiversity movement recognises that human brains are naturally varied, and that these differences come with both challenges and strengths.

Neurodivergent individuals might experience differences in attention, sensory processing, emotional regulation, or communication. But often, the greatest struggles arise not from the neurodivergence itself, but from living in a world designed for neurotypical people.

💡 How ADHD and Autism Present Differently

ADHD

Attention-Deficit / Hyperactivity Disorder isn’t just about being easily distracted or impulsive. It involves differences in attention regulation, motivation, and executive functioning (the mental skills that help us plan, organise, and follow through).

• In males: ADHD is often recognised earlier. Traits like restlessness, impulsivity, and trouble focusing in class can stand out.

• In females: ADHD often shows up more internally as daydreaming, emotional sensitivity, perfectionism, or chronic overthinking. Many girls and AFAB (assigned female at birth) individuals develop strong masking strategies to appear “together,” hiding their internal chaos.

Autism

Autism affects how people perceive and engage with the world, including sensory experiences, communication, and social interactions.

• In males: Traditional diagnostic criteria often match how boys tend to present - repetitive behaviours, narrow interests, or visible social challenges.

• In females: Autism can look different. Many autistic women are deeply empathetic, intuitive, and socially aware. They may mask by mimicking others’ behaviour or forcing eye contact to blend in. This camouflaging can be exhausting and often leads to burnout or mental health difficulties.

🔍 Why It’s Missed or Misdiagnosed

Many adults - especially women and non-binary people, only discover their neurodivergence later in life. Here’s why it’s so often overlooked:

1. Masking and Camouflaging

From a young age, many neurodivergent people learn to hide their natural traits to avoid rejection or bullying. They push through sensory overload, suppress stimming, or over-prepare for social interactions. Over time, this masking becomes automatic, but it’s draining and can lead to emotional exhaustion.

2. Gender Bias in Diagnostic Tools

Most early research and diagnostic criteria were based on boys, meaning many girls’ and women’s presentations were simply missed. Even now, clinicians can overlook subtler traits, especially when the person appears “high-functioning” or successful externally.

3. Overlap with Trauma, Anxiety, and Depression

The emotional toll of growing up misunderstood can lead to chronic anxiety, low self-esteem, and trauma responses. Many neurodivergent adults seek therapy for depression or anxiety, only to later realise these feelings stem from years of trying to fit into a world that didn’t fit them.

4. Cultural and Societal Factors

In some cultures or families, discussing neurodivergence carries stigma. Traits may be labelled as “lazy,” “too sensitive,” or “difficult,” instead of being understood as signs of a different neurotype.

🕰️ Late Diagnosis: The Adult Realisation

For many, the journey to understanding their neurodivergence begins in adulthood - perhaps after their child is diagnosed, or during therapy, or through social media content that suddenly feels too relatable.

Receiving a diagnosis (or self-identifying through careful research) can bring a complex mix of emotions:

• Relief: Finally, a framework that explains lifelong struggles.

• Grief: Mourning years of misunderstanding or missed support.

• Empowerment: Permission to live authentically and meet one’s needs without shame.

Understanding your neurotype can be profoundly healing. It reframes the story from “What’s wrong with me?” to “I was never broken to begin with.”

💬 Is There Treatment — and Does It Work?

There’s no “cure” for ADHD or autism - nor should there be. The goal of support is not to erase neurodivergence but to create environments that help neurodivergent people thrive.

Treatment and support are highly individual. They might include:

🩵 Medication

For ADHD, stimulant or non-stimulant medications can help regulate attention and energy. They don’t change personality or creativity, they simply support the brain in functioning more consistently. For some autistic people, medication may help with anxiety or sensory overwhelm.

🩵 Therapy

Therapy can be life-changing when it’s neurodiversity-affirming. A trauma-informed therapist understands how chronic misunderstanding or masking can lead to shame, hypervigilance, or burnout.

Approaches like person-centred, parts work (IFS), or adapted CBT can help individuals build self-compassion, emotional regulation, and confidence in their identity.

🩵 Coaching and Practical Support

Executive functioning coaching, occupational therapy, or sensory integration support can make daily life easier and more structured, helping people manage overwhelm, organisation, and transitions.

🩵 Community and Connection

Perhaps the most healing element of all is finding others who understand. Peer groups, online communities, and social spaces where neurodivergence is celebrated can restore belonging and pride.

🌿 Living Authentically as a Neurodivergent Person

Once people understand their neurotype, life begins to make sense. Many describe it as “meeting themselves for the first time.”

They learn to design their days around what works for their brain:

• Building routines that honour their energy levels.

• Using sensory tools or noise-cancelling headphones.

• Allowing downtime and stimming without guilt.

• Communicating needs clearly instead of masking.

Neurodivergent individuals often bring incredible creativity, empathy, and innovation to the world. When supported, they can flourish in ways that feel authentic and sustainable.

💖 Final Thoughts

Neurodivergent people are not broken - they are beautifully diverse thinkers, feelers, and creators. The more we understand and celebrate this diversity, the more inclusive our world becomes.

If you’ve ever felt different or struggled to understand why life seems harder for you than others, it might be worth exploring whether you could be neurodivergent. Recognising this doesn’t label you - it liberates you.

🌿 A Personal Invitation

As a trauma-informed, neurodivergent-aware therapist, I offer a safe, compassionate space to explore your experiences, whether you’re questioning a possible ADHD or autism diagnosis, living with neurodivergence, or trying to recover from years of masking and misunderstanding.

Together, we can make sense of your story, find strategies that truly work for you, and support you in embracing your authentic self.

You don’t have to navigate this journey alone.

🌱 Get in touch if you’d like to explore how therapy can help you understand, accept, and thrive as the person you are.

👉 Book a free initial consultation

or

📩 Get in touch to find out how therapy can support you.